Parenting in the ICU
There were about 25 in attendance, mostly residents, plus attendings and nurses. We covered the following, including some excerpts from the Felix Maus book, and had a lively discussion at the end.
- Intention - to share our story, to offer a glimpse inside the family's experience of critical care, so that critical care providers can make the best choices possible to help not only their patients, but the families recover to the greatest extent possible.
- Intro - Have found myself on the cusp of Mind-Body-Being for much of the last 10 years...
- Gratitude
- Numb Shock (June 2, 2007) read from Wed June 6th, 10:42PM CDT, "the social worker walked me..."
- Fear of Possibilities read from Thu June th, 9:38PM PDT, "today was hard. i cried a lot..."
- Despair not a mandatory state, but the likely follow on from the first two stages read from Sat June 9th, 11:00PM PDT, "i am in great despair tonight..."
- Openness to Possibility window to Grace read Sun June 10, 12:19PM PDT, "i have been crying and praying..."
- Patterns - This pattern above is worth noting for you as physicians and healers, b/c your task is threefold and will grow from knowing what it is your patients' families are enduring. The task is:
- Empathize – the root of which is to suffer, and is shared with Compassion and Sympathy. Empathy is not to suffer with, but to hold space for another's suffering with Compassion.
- Help Families Know How to Feel - it may seem odd that we would need that, but there is so much stimuli, so many feelings, so much information, so many decisions, that we feel so much that can be conflicting, that we find a sense of despair by not knowing how to feel. relate the vignette from Byran about the three outcomes and how i phrased the question. read from Tue June 26, 2:22AM, PDT, "late night note to doctors..."
- Help Families Know What to Do - Bring them back to Parenting. It's what their souls are crying out to do; it's the active act of loving their child in the most tender, loving, ancient way. Bring parents to that and you will give them a ground to stand upon. read from the Survival Guide
- Be Kind to Yourself - Your work is exceptionally hard. Breathe, stay hydrated, befriend grief so you can move through the huge feelings and not bottle them up (you'll pick the time and place...)
- Gratitude
- Q&A
